Trying to get back in shape is a tough thing.

I’ve really let myself go and now that I’m doing something about it I really wish that I would have been more concerned with my health through College. But alas, it’s that time in life where we make stupid decisions and let ourselves go in every direction. My experience in college wasn’t much different than any other. Girls, alcohol, hard drugs and procrastinating on school work… wait scratch that, I didn’t do hard drugs at any point in my life. That’s someone else’s story.

I did do some of the other things and as it is, everything that I did had consequences. A lot of relationships were messed up because of my inability to be a good friend to some, boyfriend to others. I let my selfishness get in the way of things that were probably more important.

And now I’m fat… are you happy?! To everyone I ever hurt, I want you to know that I’m out of shape and I feel miserable.

But don’t hang on to that for too long because I’m making a change. I’m working on this issue today and everyday hence forth (give or take a few days here or there).

Anyhow, it’s really got me thinking about the decisions we make and the times we need forgiveness. The general feeling in the Christian world is that all we need to do is repent and we will be made “White as Snow”. And for the most part it’s true, we can be forgiven by a Gracious and Powerful God. But when we are forgiven is that it? everything is forgotten? New page, new starting point?  Do we get to walk away unscathed? What happens after forgiveness?

What I’m learning comes from a lesson in my weight loss mission. My metaphor for forgiveness is found in the fat suit that I’m wearing. Just because I am tired of being out of shape doesn’t mean that I automatically become “in shape”. I am still carrying the extra weight even though it will gradually fall off (fingers crossed). The thing about it is that my extra weight is making my efforts to lose weight even harder.

I want to rock climb for exercise and in the past I’ve been a decent enough climber. But I was able to attain a certain level or difficulty through practice and the advantages of having an ideal “climbers body”. That’s all in the past now. I have two disadvantages now (one of them I’ve always had): I’m fat and I’m short. I can’t reach far enough and I can’t pull my weight. I’m climbings version of a Special Olympian! Getting back to that level I used to climb at will be an uphill battle. Every time I go to climb I’m amazed at how fast I get tired and how things that used to be “easy” and now really hard! And it’s all because of my weight.

I don’t want to be overweight and I’ve made a commitment to change, but I still have to deal with the fact that I’ve “been there and done that”. And it’s the same way with forgiveness. We can live a life of sin and then decide to change, but simply because we change and are forgiven doesn’t mean that we get a pass on our past. We still have to deal with “being overweight”.

Or for example, the person that takes advantage of other people. Because they stop and reform does not mean that those they hurt will not seek retribution for what’s befallen them. Those skeletons can come back to haunt us.

It really would be nice if we were forgiven and it’s “Tabula Rasa” time. But if we’re honest with ourselves we should be able to look ahead and see that there will be difficulties because of where we’ve been.

So as I eat my dinner tonight, I won’t be mad at the small portions or the lack of fatty goodness. I know that even though I’ve turned the corner, there is still a hard road ahead of me. And if I’ve scared you off from seeking out this forgiveness you should know that what lies at the end of that hard road is something pretty great and it’s totally worth the efforts.

Till next time…